nadadalas na pagmumuni=)

Yesterday, I was in San Francisco again with kuya GP, his brother and his friend alex. I seized the opprotunity to finally see a friend wo is very dear to me: Gracy. We just ate dinner there and then went home. I was sobber the entire night although I was able to drink just 2 bottles of bud lights at gracy's place. Tonight, I'll be going again to my work. As always, my body is still convincing me to finally give up the job but I just dont want to yet. Aside from the fact that I need money, I also consider wayne's condition. I dont want to be unfair to the person. I'll let him know that I'll leave him maybe weeks before I actually do so in that case, He'll be able to find a good replacement. This week, I finally was able to send my papers to the government. Now, it is just all up to God to decide for my fate. Of course, I am hoping for a favorable outcome but however it goes, Im sure God has great plans for me. My stay here has been teaching me a lot on how to properly live my life. Primarily, it taught me how to depend more in God and pin all hopes in Him. Then, I have learned to trust myself. I may still be needing help from my family but the decision now really lies in me. I remember what papa once told me that I will always be the master of my destiny. I can only agree. Also, I have learned to value every moment spent with my friends back home. Some may dismiss those moments as just worthless drinking sessions but heck! They were not there and I was so I must know better. Some friends whom I have known since who knows when nd some whom I have just met a little years ago are all equally valued and loved. They surely filled my past with wonderful memories. I know I'll see thm again in time. I wish them all well and I know they pray the same thing for me.

I'll be in airport again tonight. Kuya Gary will be flying back to Manila at 10pm. I envy him at this moment. I wish I could go home too. But as I said before, this is my choice and I should stick with it. There are stages in life where you feel depressed and there are also stages where you are so happy. Its like a roller coaster ride. Its not a perfect world as they say. But every hardship that comes your way just makes you stronger and gives as if an immunity to you so that the next bumbs along the road will less likely give you troubles.

The other good trait that I am currently learning here is the ability to make myself happy. The world has got a lot of problem already and if I dont change my approach towards life, I'd drown in the river of pessimism and self pitty and I'd just die as a looser. So the only remedy here is to limit myself from wasting my precious time worrying for my future. That will come no matter what I do so I should do everything and convince myself to be happy everyday of my life. I am still not good at it but I am trying hard to learn this art.

I'll download some more songs.