epiphany

every person, regardless of race or social standing, is destined to carry a lot of burdens in his lifetime. That is the best gauge for men's quest for equality. Oftentimes we complain that our problems seem harder than the other people and that we even somtimes dismiss those who come to us and say how difficult their life is as just whimps and weaklings because we thought, or may have indeed suffer far heavier problems than those that they have. but in a larger sense, can we really weigh a problem while it is in our shoulders? I dont think so. isnt it that the only time we only realize the weight of our problem s when after its done already? I am just 21, will turn 22 in a moth's time but I feel as if Ihave gone through a lot of hardships already. And everytime I get through with each problem, I would always smile and scold myself for worrying about something that was so little. I am again in that pahse of my life. I feel as if this is the hardest oart of my life. I never thought I would do things lke this in my life. I thought after college, I was bound for instant greatness. Turned out, God has other plans for me. You ask me if what I am going through is hard? You bet! Almost everyday, I think of giving up. I had a life of great comfort. I would sleep and wake up and worry about nothing but what I would do to keep myself busy. I was in a fantasy land and until now, I crave for that fantasy to once again come alive. But along the way, I found out that my fantasy was leading me to my decay.

Today, I have a work that I never thought I would ever do. it maybe easy for some people but definitely not for me. Being in that job is like finding myself in a battlefield where my enemies are my own elements. I fight against ego; I fight against self pity; I fight against boredom; fight against disgust; I fight against my personal feelings. But the rewards I get are good in a way. It gives me money for one and teaches me to stand on my own. It builds up my character and shapes my personality. It prepares me for a bigger battle and makes me a fierce warrior. Those are the things I get in return from doing that job, not to mention the service that I do to my God. WIll I leave the job once opportunity arises? Certainly! Because when that opprtunity presents itself, Im sure Im already a better person and that Im up to the task that lies ahead.

Who said this was another letter of sadness and despair? This is a realization of how eautiful life is and how blessed I am. And who said I had given up my hopes of greatness?! I actually am on the way leading to that path.