The price to pay for being a Man

Hanggang kailan ako dapat maghintay? Hanggang saan dapat ang pagtitiis?!

Its like a line in the movies! I never thought that it would make sense to me someday... Why do I have to be punished with this? I have never asked for it in the first place. Why do I need to carry the burden? Why have I allowed myself to fall to that trap when I had a vision of what would happen? How can I forget her? How will I let go of her memory? Why is it not easy to forget and just go on with my life?! This may seem strange and even funny to others. But the hell I care! Why will I, again, think of what others will say when it is I, and nobody else, who will suffer? The pain is too much for my fragile heart. It has already endured great sufferings but it can only take so much. Who should I blame? Who will take the cross and carry the burden for me? For other peple, they will surely regard this as just a MINOR problem that needs no further attention. Why? because it is about love? and the pain brought by love is a problem we should never very much think about. Because it is self serving, self- defeating and downright stupid! Huh?! Stupid? haha! maybe thats right. But who has never been a victim of it? who has, in his ifetime, never loved or has never been loved?! Call it silly my friend but it is the one element in life that the scientists failed to count. and it is the most powerful of them all. the air, water and the place where we dwell in are nothing had there been no love. because it is the primary reason why we exist. And as human beings, it is the element that sustains us. we can never survive without it. Have you ever wondered why some choose to end their lives in the name of love?!
My story is about the pain that it causes to every person whoever he may be. Sure, it is the source of happiness but why can it be not the cource of contentment? why do we still crave for more? why cant we have it the way we want it? like an ice cream with cherry on top? why does it need to cause trouble and pain and suffering? why can it be not all joy? is it not loving about that? about finding joy? Nobody will understand me and I am not trying to be understood by everyone. Like love, not evrything can be explained. Life, as they say, is never easy and it never will be. It tests you to the limits; it wants to see how far you can go... not until you give up, either by force or by choice, will it then only stop.

pagtanaw sa mga kaibigan sa ucsc (aming mga pakikibaka)

Gabi na naman. magtatalong linggo na ako dito sa America. natutuwa ako ant nalulungkot. Naiisip ko pamilya ko sa Pilipinas at ang mga kaibigan kong iniwanan doon. Naaalala ko yung mga araw na nagiinom kami ng kape nila matet, tin rob at adrian sa starbucks katipunan. ang saya saya ng mga araw na yun! halos 4 na beses sa isang linggo, hindi maaaring hindi kami magkita kita. kwentuhan kami, tawanan, bwisitan. Wala na yung kapartner kong si matet sa lahat ng katarantaduhan! 7,000 milyahe ang pagitan na min sa bawat isa! wala na rin sa tabi ko ang aking katuwang ko sa panliligaw at pag gawa ng regalong si tin! hehehe... wala dito yung kadebate ko palagi na si rob, haay, nakakamis mga debate na yun! matibay kami pareho, walang makumbinsi kasi parehong matindi pananaw sa buhay! at syempre, mis ko pareng adrian ko! pucha, walang araw sa isang linggo na hindi kami uminom nito! at hindi basta inom ha! mahinana limang bote ng beer! hehehe... miss ko din taj at boggs, kagitara ko, "CRAZY FOR YOU" ang tema kasi mga loverboys kami!hahaha! ganun talaga... Alam nyo, sa buhay madami tayong makikita at makikilala. madaming magiging kaibigan. at bawat isa sa kanila ay may ala2 alang maiiwan sa iyo na kahit saan ka man magpunta ay hinding- hindi mo na malilimutan! " Kay simple lamang ng buhay noon, walang mabibigat na suliranin. laging problema lamang kulang ang datung, san na nga ab'ng barkada ngayon?"
Minsan, iisipin mo, mainam ba yung nakikipagkaibigan pa kasi alam na alam mo naman na dadaing ang panaho at magkakahiwa-hiwalay din kayo? at tuwing mangyayari yun, hindi maaaring hindi ka masaktan. pero kung pagninilayan mo, ipagpapalit mo ba yung ligayang pinagsamahan nyo sa sakaling pagkakataong hindi pagkakakilala sa kanila?! Wag na! salamat na lang! di bale nang bumaha ng luha na nalalamang mayroon ang mga taong nakasama at nakasalo sa kaligayahan kaysa sa walang inaalalang masasaang nagdaan.
masaya kong iisipin yung kwentuhan namin ni harold sa morato at pakikpag sayaw sa mga seksing chiks sa decades. yung mga inuman sa rooftop at kwarto ko na nagtapos sa pagsusuka ni boggs at pag gulong ko sa basang bermuda! hay... buhay... sarap alalahanin. sana maulit lahat ng ito. sana magkasam- sama ulit kami.

Mending a Broken Heart

Have you ever felt being ignored? I have and its difficult. Nobody can take that so easily especially when before you left, you thought everything would stay as it was and the only change you were hoping to happen would be for "it" to grow deeper and stronger, notwithstanding the distance. Life has always been this way. Sometimes, it sails well and sometimes, it does not. And in moments like this, I have tried as much as possible to be firm and strong. After all, I have gone through some trials in the past, which, have never been experienced by some people of my age then. But it all the more made me realize that nothing can really prepare us much for the future. Sure, we will learn a thing or two in every event that occurs but there will always... always be mistakes in the past that are bound to be committed once again. Each time we bleed, we feel pain and there is no way of escaping that. The only way to get over the pain is to let time heal it once again. Or we can choose to act as if we're unaffected! Nothing is easier. People around you will assume that you're not hurt and they will even envy you for your courage. But after a while, it will burn you out; the pretentions will tire you and it will hurt all the more! Maybe its true when they say that when we get hurt, that is the only time we realize how vulnerable we are, thus leading us to reflect on the things that had happened to us, be it good or bad. In conclusion, I am preparing myself for the battles ahead, praying for the best but preparing for the worst and then in the end, I'll let my God judge me for what I have done.

just a testimonial for a woman that i adore

what gift can you give to someone who has everyhting? love of her peers, friends and family, she has. respect of her constituents, she has. admiration of men and women alike, she enjoys. beauty that is beyond words, grace and good life, evrything! name it, she has it! and as i think of all these, i realized how much of a blessing she is to everyone around her. how many people she made happy and, at that age, how many lives she has touched. I will always remember her for her kind and sweet words and her apreciation of even the smallest things you do for her.